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lyrics

Wayward, awkward people
at a small apartment party:
This is all that I expected
from a Saturday so long ago.
Your hair gel and your glasses
made a slightly late arrival,
and those fits of manic laughter
from your tiny, wiry stature
waved a dagger at my loneliness.

Pretty soon, there was some coffee
and two sets of seven numbers;
hourly meals of Daniel Johnston
with a side of "Transsiberian."
And drunken, we all staggered
to your latest fling’s apartment.
When you tripped and fell on top of me,
and told me that you loved me …
what a strange sort of serenity.

He’s a surely passage-worthy definition of affection –
more legitimate than women,
more considerate than God could ever try.

There were bold, suggestive movements
and outlandish little comments
to invite the jealous world
into our wayward, awkward kingdom.
But I left it for another
where I knelt for different reasons,
and I knew you wouldn’t follow,
so I shunned you as a heathen,
our affection as indecent.

Pretty soon, that apparition
that I blamed for all existence
led me miles and miles away
into the land of debt and quandaries.
You sent a private message
just to ask about my journey,
and to tell me of another
with a different kind of body
and no history of arguments.

She’s a surely passage-worthy definition of affection –
more legitimate than wenches,
more considerate than I could ever try.

I was civil when I met her …
such a quiet smiling creature.
But that smile disappeared
the night I let desire conquer.
Lost within a joking moment,
lips in tandem, quick and drunken …
and thereafter, no more comments --
just some wayward, awkward banter,
and no talk of "Transsiberian."

I forgot about the wedding --
what a rich excuse for drinking!
Though I know it was forgiven,
still don’t feel like it’s forgivable.
But now and then, I’ll see you two
at wayward, awkward gatherings,
and suddenly, I’m hypnotized
by old suggestive movements ...
not as bold, but still quite beautiful.

I’m a surely passage-worthy definition of affection:
not degenerate, but smitten
with the liberty that comes with knowing why.
Knowing why.
Knowing why ...
oh, why, why, why, why, why?

(C) 2018 Made to Make Music

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from Debt and Quandaries, released May 1, 2018

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The Invisible Teal (aka Todd Hoover) Phoenix, Arizona

Creatively written and arranged art pop from the heart and loins.

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