TODD:
All I really have to show for my [redacted] years on this dying rock is a refusal to stop running away from The Nothing. All of this despite being perpetually, casually dismissed as “a lot” … trying like Sisyphus to convince every ableist that I’m nothing more than the victim of an open /4/.(?$78!,:34;899sthvrujjthbhijjiij

THE TEAL:
If glamorized disfigurement’s the latest way to pay the rent,
then dandies will keep brandishing their fake tits and lighters
for jesters and molesters and adequate writers
who are citing Google highlights as a backup for the Bible.
Oh, my semi-honest sonnets … now with a talking option!?
Thumbs up, hermit celebrity hooked on photo filter therapy!
One Mark proclaimed, “Adultery!” The other says, “Philanthropy!”
It’s vanity for sanity in the land of free anxiety.
I’m a full-time connoisseur and a part-time virtuoso.
All those days chasing trends to strengthen frames of reference
against hipsters so persistent in that neighborhood search
for the cleanest, most thirst-quenching goblet of water.
(Nope.) Coffee? (Nope.) Mickey’s? (Nope.) Urine? (Nope.
What good is) BLOOD (without a body!?)
Kids, take note of my ample *ahem* WISDOM:
More often than not, it is only exhaustion in that golden pot.

KIDS:
BOO!

THE TEAL:
OK, fine! Keep on listening to those critics in your head!
Just don’t feel bad if every now and then it’s the radio instead.
Every friends-only post is a modern 12-bar blues:
Just ‘cause it all sounds the same doesn’t make the pain a ruse.
And since we’ve let ourselves be led by flower pedals
and pairs of story fragments coming true,
can’t yesterday’s silks and linens
still make for immaculate record collections?
I mean, really — there was nothing ever wrong with “Kumbayah,”
or even getting your slowcore jollies on.
But right now, all I really need
is some Tums and some throat coat tea.
Fuck it — my existence is painfully American,
and staying woke’s quite an exhausting acquisition.
As the planet succumbs to its bloodthirsty butterflies,
caffeine is increasingly cardinal.
Okie dokie!
Show me the Holy Pony’s Hokey Pokey — right foot only, please! Sequent steps reflexive:
stroking, blowing, quoting, then disowning the supposed King.
Chaos so comforting … Christ, where’s a counselor!?
My pleasantness depends on prescriptions filled persistently,
and if you ever witness a transition, you’re well advised to split
and leave me alone with my lists,
the ancient obsession on which I subsist.
And remember that it’s MY life trembling by the nightlight,
headphones mighty tight, faintly whining, “Do the knife fight!”
Hey, I’ll be fine just idling at this site ‘til I can bite right
within the sight of surgeons trying to save ideas of White might.
We all know there is no joy in the high road;
self-awareness hardly justifies you acting like an asshole.
Just please grant me sufficient room to shape all adjacent molecules into unremitting artifacts of a value that my soul could never know.
Oh, my aching attention SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!

DEV:
Hey Todd, it’s Dev. I got your message — dude! Stop being so hard on yourself! No independent solo artist is ever as productive or authentic as they want to be. Instead of immediately predestining every breath to be wasted, rejoice in each inhalation, exhalation as the possible basis for more content created. Hey, if you sing a song and the world doesn’t sing along, then that’s the world’s problem. Love you, man — call me when you get this.

TODD:
Hey, Dev, I appreciate your attempts at encouragement, but what is there to rejoice when, nowadays, news about Tame Impala accompanies photos of burnt koalas? Marsupials, too, could disappear into the past like dodos, pay phones, and smooth elections. We are well beyond concerns over coitus and classics, and yet the climate keeps gathering dust in what America’s still calling a corner. You know, I used to pray for healing or clarity or whatever, but honestly, why even acknowledge God when there’s this fresh pot of coffee? Next week on Pay-Per-View: “The Evil That Men Will Do.” Boring ... scroll, scroll … wait, is that — !? Man, isn’t it infuriating to remember that the alt-right makes memes, too?