Always Looking, Never Touching

from Amygdala by The Invisible Teal (aka Todd Hoover)

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I am a mistake and everyone knows it.

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THE TEAL:
Hi, everyone, it’s The Teal. We’re well past the quandary of begging for Rhondas and getting Yolandas. On a good day, we can maybe rely upon the idiocy of irony for the occasional distraction from parental patterns; on a far more typical day, nothing can be adequately understood over the pleas of a world shredding its larynx for want of a DNR form. Hell, all I really have to show for my 36 years on this dying rock is a refusal to stop running away from The Nothing. All this despite being perpetually, casually dismissed as “a lot,” trying like Sisyphus to convince every ableist that I am nothing more than the victim of an open amygdala. This is Saul, signing off … sorry to have wasted your time.

THE TEAL (cont'd):
I woke up this morning,
Blues laughing at the sores on my rectum …
she’s an unforgiving captor,
but all that I remember aside from this is loneliness,
and as a longtime patron of its mighty fine industry,
I built my own island.
Does this mean I’m a voodoo child?
Never mind! From this gleaming throne,
now I get to cheat with the whole wide world,
always looking but never touching anything but me.
(Baby, I’ve got a plan!)
Dear reader, stop feigning your patience and face it:
Your flesh would sooner burn for eternity
than ever publicly boast about sharing its blood with me.
Aside from hankering to hit any plane down,
this lonesome hobo is a messenger at best,
so lie and tell me I’m not the only one who needs this song.
Always looking, never touching a thing.
I’m a victim virtuoso taught by my mother’s line of prodigies.
Watch me work — PLEASE watch me work.
And the blues laughs at every bruise;
no one does the Fetal quite like you, like you do.

credits

from Amygdala, released June 5, 2023

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The Invisible Teal (aka Todd Hoover) Phoenix, Arizona

Creatively written and arranged art pop from the heart and loins.

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